“If you don't know them personally, don’t take it personally”

Today started off with a buncha makeup. It is professional headshot day but it's also a day of discovering your why, talking about implicit bias, mental health awareness, pretty much a day of tears. Talking to Erica, an M2 student and a MedEx alumni, she helped us reflect about choosing our why for medicine. The four categories that helped us think about this really difficult question were traits, relationships, experiences, and values. It only took about 10 minutes for my group and I to cry. It was truly incredible to hear about everyone's story and add depth to who they are and who they have become based on their experiences especially. Anika shared her experience as a patient getting heart surgery, Lucy’s perspective of seeing her mother sick at such a young age, Evelin knowing her grandfather’s health is declining because of the lack of resources in Mexico, we got deep real quick. It was incredible the amount of attention we gave each other to not only talk but to truly listen and feel for one another. This exercise really helped me reflect on my own story and understand that I too have my own journey so it makes me excited to share that with more people.

The next thing scheduled was a med student panel. It was really interesting to see someone who chose medicine after choosing a nutrient career at first. This shows the true meaning being the cliche saying that everyone has their own journey. No one should be expected to follow their cousin Paul's route of his life events. Everyone should go through experiences at their own time because we all learn different lessons, have different values, perspectives, ideas, beliefs, goals, and many more things that makes us unique. There are no rules to how someone should live their life as long as they are not harming others. To each their own. Another huge thing I learned during the panel was when one M2 said: “medical school will take whatever you give it.” This is so important for me to hear knowing that I tend to overwork myself with school so if I spend all of my weeks studying and give medical school everything, then it will also take everything. I need to remember to never sacrifice the things I love and to set limits so I don’t lose myself. Another good tip that was cool and rhymed: “if you are not having a good study day, step away!”

Carolina and Uncle Al came to talk to us about implicit bias. What stuck out to me was the ted talk we watched. The speaker asked us to close our eyes and imagine a scenario. I found out that during my imagination, I didn’t think of a black pilot, or a gay couple, or a female CEO. Even from my support group, I realized that most people in my group share many of my characteristics, like native language and gender. Another huge quote that stood out to me today was when Uncle Al said “if you don't know them personally, don’t take it personally.” As someone who values others’ opinions so much, this was important for me to hear.

This next activity I was so excited for. Tori put the tier into groups of their animal category based on the Smalley Trent personality test. It was so interesting to see the different responses to the prompts from each group and how it makes so much sense with who each person is. I think this activity will help us understand and work with each other better.

After a very fast paced lunch when we had our headshots taken, it was time for mental health awareness. Dr. Griffith, who is a psychiatrist, came in and answered questions that we had about his field. What was surprising to hear is that working as a therapist/psychiatrist, he constantly reminds himself that his job isn’t to make the patients better, it's to direct them to the path to get themselves better. A physician can sit down with the patient all day instructing them on what to do, but at the end of the day it comes down to the patient to actually take the initiative of doing the things suggested by the doctor. So, as future healthcare professionals we can’t beat ourselves up and wonder why the case isn’t improving when a patient simply doesn’t do what they are supposed to do (of course sometimes this isn't true). Other things that stuck out to me were drug abuse and how it happens and pain-management medications and their side effects. Those who get prescribed an opioid sometimes take less of their prescribed dosage to make profit out of the rest of the medication by selling it to others. For those with a disability, the check they receive at the end of the month is in no way enough to buy groceries alone. You’ll find a lot of patients who take pain-management medications also deal with mental health concerns. This is no coincidence. One of the main side effects of opioids is the deterioration of mental health. My father was taking medication for his back for years until he found out it was affecting his kidney function. To fix this, his pain-management doctor prescribed him an opioid, tramadol, to help with his kidney recovery. As one thing was improving, another was declining. My family and I noticed that ever since my dad began taking the tramadol, he became easily irritated, more anxious, had constant changes in moods, and was overall not the same as before. All of these side effects directly correlate with the opioid he was heavily dependent on and is still taking. It is really hard to watch my dad get addicted to something I know is helping him manage his back pain in exchange for the decline of his mental health.

That was the last major thing we did for the day other than quickly doing some goal assessments with the interns and then clinical observation check-in with Sarah. But, while we are on the topic of my dad, I wanted to share how my week ended. My dad recently went on a trip to Israel for a week which was really hard for my family and I since we all usually do everything together. It was so scary to watch him go on his own since he depends so much on my brother and I for translating. I almost felt like I was the parent sending my child on his first day of school. There was instilled fear that I had of my dad either not coming back or something traumatic happening to him during his trip. Thankfully, he got there and back safely which was so relieving. I was super excited to go home and see him after his arrival, however, he called me and said he is sick with covid. Throughout the entire covid era, I was terrified that this moment would come. My dad is a 62 year old with many health conditions like hypertension, high cholesterol, rheumatoid arthritis, and lots of family history health concerns. We always tried protecting him from getting infected and he made it this far before he became a covid sufferer. As expected, the virus is hitting him a lot harder than most people and I have been on edge thinking about it all today. After MedEx today, I went to my Greenville tech apartment and then straight to my room to try taking a nap. However, I decided I couldn’t go another day without seeing my dad. I jumped out of the bed, went to Walmart to buy him supplements and flowers, masked up and went to my house. I placed the goodies on the table in front of his room and stepped back to watch him open the door. My excitement immediately dissipated when I saw how beat up my dad looked. He was moving so slow and couldn’t say more than 2 words at a time. This is not the dad I am used to. He nodded his head at me, grabbed the goods from the table, and immediately closed the door.

Anyways, I know that this experience is teaching me that it is hard for family members to watch their loved ones battle diseases/viruses and to remember this moment as a future healthcare professional.

Still,

Can’t wait for tomorrow!!